Being Real About Being Fake


Real is an antonym for fake.  So if I tell you that I can be really fake, here’s a multiple choice question for you.  Choose the single best answer.  No, not all that apply.  Am I …

a)  simply stating an oxymoron
b)  being genuinely bogus
c)  being artificially authentic
d)  all of the above
e)  none of the above

Keep reading if you really want to know.  Read more if you don’t want to know but are willing to humour me, or maybe yourself, by make believing as if you want to know.  Hit the back button in your browser if you sincerely don’t care to know the answer.  Close the browser window if you for realsies want to know but for whatever reason you decide to not act on your true feelings.  Confused yet as to what to do?  Yeah, I think I’m getting confused too.

Okay, back to clear-cut easy to write and easy to read language …


Yes, I can be really fake and that’s the plain truth.


I was yesterday at the doctor’s office when I laughed at a joke by the old man sitting next to me.  I didn’t find it funny.  It wasn’t offensive or cruel or anything, I just didn’t find it anything to LOL about.  But I did anyway.  Why?  Because he was a nice man and I wanted to be nice back to him.  Who knows.  I may have been the only person who did respond to his sense of humour with a smile and a chuckle yesterday.  I’d rather be that person than all of the others who perhaps didn’t laugh.  I’d rather be genuinely nice than 100% genuine.  Tough choice to make but I do make it sometimes.  Not all roads paved with good intentions are heading towards hell.  Some of mine are directed towards heaven.  Or at least I try to direct them that way.  I hope my intentional GPS system worked.

I was also really fake not long after that doctor’s appointment.  I got some bad health news and was doing something I often try to do when I find myself in a challenging situation.  I was reciting a gratitude list in my head.  I was doing as I was taught.  Putting some ‘gr’ in my attitude.  As much as I love gratitude and try to express it as often as I can, sometimes I struggle with really feeling it.  I was struggling yesterday.  But I was also taught to act the way you want to feel.  And I truly wanted to feel grateful rather than feeling sorry for myself, fearful, and angry.  It eventually worked.  I found those few things in my life I had a no-holds barred level of love and appreciation for and meditated on just them.  Those thoughts overpowered the other not-so thankful thoughts and off I went with my day.

Now if you were to ask those closest to me, my family and my friends and my coworkers, they’d probably all tell you I’m a pretty darn honest and genuine person.  They would say things like that I speak the truth and I speak my truth.  That I say what I mean and I mean what I say.  That I tell it like it is.  And most of the time, they are 100% correct.  But they will also tell you that I’m not perfect.  That I am flawed and have defects of character.  That I am human.  And choosing ‘all of the above’ to those latter three statements on a multiple choice quiz about me would grant them a 100% passing score.

My antics of yesterday are just two examples of how I can be really fake.  Am I proud to admit it to you all?  Not particularly.  But I think a few other life lesson’s I’ve been taught apply to my school of thought in sharing that with you.  One is that I learn from my shortcomings, my quote-un-quote failures, my actions.  I have learned from writing this.  The other is that while I’m a huge fan of perfection, I am more so a fan of accepting that I am perfectly imperfect.  I am perfuctly fecked up as I’ve told you before.  And composing this post reminded me of that.  I need those kind of post-it note reminders.  And finally, a life lesson that has become one of my mantras:  spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection.  ‘Nuff said if I do say so myself.


So what’s the damn answer to the question then???

Oh yeah, that lure you in make you wanna read more question I threw in at the beginning.  Well, if you were allowed to choose more than one response, which you weren’t by the way, then a) might have been included as right at least on literary technical grounds to some.  But the proper answer is e) none of the above.  I can be really fake.  And that’s the truth.  I am getting down to getting real about myself with you.  I am real.  And part of my realness is being fake sometimes.  It is what it is.  And despite the critics who will say how awful it is to be fake, sometimes that is what I am.

I’ll end with Gloria Gaynor’s song that “lets” that be okay for me.  Not that I need anyone to give me permission though of course.

Life’s not worth a damn, ’til you can say I am what I am
Your life is a sham, ’til you can shout out I am what I am



Image source:   geralt user on, CC0 Public Domain

Listen to music.  It could save your soul.  Be kind.  It could save someone’s world.  Wear a hat.  It could save your life.


32 thoughts on “Being Real About Being Fake

  1. “Everything I tell you is a lie.” True or false? Oxymoron, contradiction, paradox! Actually, I’m going to agree with you that being “fake” can be the better option if it fosters more kindness. Maybe it touches a deeper, more spiritual level. There, I said it! Haha.
    Progress vs. perfection is another interesting one. What about progress unto perfection? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dang, I shoulda used that one in the post haha! Well, I’ll use it on my kid tonight. Love to see her baffled face sometimes.
      Progress unto perfection eh? Gotta think about that one. Guess it depends on what the perfection is. Spelling? Buying a house? The Olympics? A song for a moment? Enlightenment?
      Now I’m confusing myself again. Better go. For now at least haha. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha, too late! I actually got it from a book, in case you were thinking it was original. 😉 That oughta be fun. Oodles and oodles.
        The last one is the most interesting, although the Olympics are a close second.
        Don’t you love how an open cognitive style can leave you without an answer? Which is more pertinent, the question, or the answer? 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, I like your stuff. No, really!
    Hi Marianne — Here was my reaction when I received a good health report.

    I Saw an Eagle Soar

    H. W. Bryce

    Trouble is mine, my sun won’t shine,
    And all that I touch turns to lead.
    No gold in my pocket, not feelin’ so fine,
    My spirit was crippled, I felt mostly dead.

    I stumbled along feelin’ mightily sore,
    Wantin’ to give up with the rain’s downpour;
    I’d’ve died in a ditch–but I didn’t know how–
    I guessed I must live the all-present now.

    Then lo and behold, the wind blew the clouds off,
    The sun dried my rag clothes and all my tears too,
    And just for a while I could breathe free and clear,
    Though my inner clouds clung like dread fear.

    But when I looked up, something darkened the sky,
    I thought it was Doom come to blacken life’s eye,
    But instead a big bird wheeled in the air
    And we became a spiritual pair–or more,
    And I saw, that day, an eagle soar.

    Yes I saw an eagle soar,
    A great halleluljah in the sky,
    Halleluljah, hallelujah on the fly;
    Yes I saw an eagle soar.
    I saw an eagle soar.

    I walked more erect, I wondered of hope,
    I wondered if life had a broader scope–…

    It goes on.

    May your eagle soar high.

    My best to you my friend,


    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well, this has left my head spinning a little bit but I don’t think laughing at the joke or trying to gain perspective with a personal problem makes you a fake. I think you are being a little hard on yourself girlfriend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for allowing your kindness to flow by laughing at a joke you did not consider to be funny. Your kindness was genuine, not fake. A quote from Greg Baden popped into my head as I was reading your post: “Everything is perfect – until it is compared.” Much love to you, Xenia xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Remember the music “Ain’t no Mountain High Enough.” Of course Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell did it best back in 67. My days in USMC on the other side of the Pacific. I was a believer and returned.

    Remember the old Army recruiting pitch “Be all you can be?” Let’s not be that contradictory oxymoron person. How about “I’m a Believer,” Don’t Monkey around Marianne.

    5 weeks post op today, more sand in the hourglass. I’m a believer!

    Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I really liked your statement about being genuinely nice vs 100% genuine. I liked everything about this post, in fact. But the being nice to others really struck a chord. Thanks for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Laughing out loud. This is a great post. My first choice was none of the above and my second choice was the oxymoron. The truth is that if we really wanted to be authentic and treat others with kindness, we would sometimes laugh when things are not funny, cry with a friend when we may not feel the same, pay someone a compliment when we may not necessarily agree with it. Why, because we are imperfect and sometimes people need to be acknowledged. Thanks for sharing. Now, I don’r mean outright lying for the sake lying because that would be another post altogether.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post – I feel you a lot on this. The first part tripped me up a bit and really made me think! I think I got what you meant to say with this though, and I fully agree with your way to see things. Being “fake” can be the right choice sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, the first part tripped me up a bit too – and I wrote it haha!
      It’s been my experience that sacrificing one ‘realness’ of me in favour of a different one, one that can put someone else’s needs ahead of mine, is worth the ‘fakeness’. Just hoping when faced with those decisions, I make the right ones.


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