“The unraveling is a time when you are challenged
by the universe to let go of who you think
you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.”
~ Brené Brown ~
August of last year. I’m standing at the sink doing dishes and pressing replay over and over again on a silent but nonetheless very loud conversation I’m having with myself in my own head. “Why are you here again? What’s wrong with you? When are you ever going to change? You’re such a loser.”
And then my mouth opened and out came the statement “You’re depressed.”
The weight of the words made my hands fall into the soapy water. I was physically and mentally paralyzed for a moment. Time stood still, as did I. “But no, I can’t be, I’m better than that!”, I argued back to myself. And out loud no less for full effect. Continue reading
Stolen Words are my compilations of lyrics used to make a new piece of prose of sorts. The lyrics are ‘stolen’ from the songs I hear while listening to SiriusXM. Below is a piece I wrote in response to the tragic events in Orlando last weekend.
I am not gay. I am not transgender. I do not know how it feels to be physically and emotionally attracted to another woman. I do not know what it is like to not be able to identify with the gender I was born as.
But I do know about love. Continue reading
Stolen Words are my compilations of lyrics used to make a new piece of prose of sorts. The lyrics are ‘stolen’ from the songs I hear while listening to SiriusXM.
I have been trying to write a piece about the mass shooting in Orlando since Monday. I was attempting to stay focused on the positives like love and acceptance, maybe even forgiveness. I was trying to avoid the negatives running around in my mind like anger and fear. But as I listened and stole the lyrics, I realized two pieces were emerging. One coming from the brighter side of my heart, one coming from the darkness in my mind. So I decided to surrender to my own internal battle and let both pieces have a voice. Continue reading
Okay, I suspect the answer is thanks but no thanks, I already have enough struggles in my life. Well, if that’s the case, fine. Thank you for your politeness but I’m gonna give you a few more anyway. They might make you scream and pull even more precious hairs out of your head. If you have any hair that is of course. And heck, some of you might even thank me for them later on.
Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.
Spencer Johnson, author of Who Moved My Cheese?
For some years now, that quote has been a favourite of mine. Though I have read Who Moved My Cheese?, I actually first heard it when I was in a treatment centre for drug & alcohol abuse. I can still feel the jaggedness of the lump in my throat, the barrenness of the pit in my stomach, and the sting of the tears in my eyes as those words penetrated my entire being. But that’s how life goes sometimes, doesn’t it? It hits you like a ton of bricks.
At first, that ton of bricks knocked me down. And I fell hard. But that’s the thing about hitting a bottom isn’t it? Once you realize where you are, there’s only one place to go from there. Up. And one of the best ways I’ve learned how to move upwards and onwards is to embrace the lessons that are in the very same bricks that knock me down. And so I did with those words. And I changed. And for that, I hope to remain eternally grateful. Continue reading