When my mom was about 4-5 yrs old, she got caught in an undertow. Scared the living daylights out of her. And then put a living fear of water in her for many years. She didn’t want any of her 4 kids to have the same fear so she put all of us in swimming lessons. My brother loved the water so much, he became a high level scuba diver, and is a Ph.D. marine biologist who just returned from a 6-month research study in New Zealand. And he has a ‘thing’ for sharks. Enough of a thing, he swims with them on occasion. Guess he never got the same fear of water my mom had.
One day, much later in life, my mom decided she was tired of being so afraid of the water, both for herself and watching us in it, even if it was a pool where no undertows could happen. So she did something about it. She signed up for swimming lessons at our local YMCA. I guess she would have been in her early 40’s at the time. And because of her talking about her fears and what she was doing to overcome them, she found out about other women in her age group and older who didn’t know how to swim either. The community builder my mom was, she got a bunch of them to sign up for lessons too. Word spread so much that the Y actually created a time slot for older people just learning how to swim to have pool time just for them, with instructors around to provide guidance and support.
That was the amazing woman my mom was. Sadly, she had a life that was marked by a lot of trauma, and correspondingly, a lot of fears. But she did something about them. Each and every one of them that I know of at least. And because she faced her fears, she showed others they could do the same. I can’t even imagine how many lives she touched through her examples of faith.
Here are just a few more …
As a child, my mom was molested by several members of her family. In adulthood, she sought counseling for it, and worked very hard to rid herself of the feelings inside her that plagued her life for so many years. Then, in her 60’s and 70’s, she taught art to abused women as a way of both expressing and healing from their abuse.
As a teen, while sitting on the toilet of all places, my mom saw a bolt of lightning come in from the window and pass right in front of her. Naturally, she developed a fear of thunderstorms after that. But again, she did everything in her power to make sure us kids didn’t develop the same fear. Even to the point of lying to us in saying our house was ‘protected’ by special things on it to divert lightning so it could never harm our home or us. Her lying worked so well, I not only believed her, I grew up to become fascinated by storms. She in turn became fascinated by my fascination and adopted the same. What once was a fear of hers, became the foundation of a bond between us.
When my parents split up when I was 10, my mom realized she didn’t really have any employable skills in that day’s market. She was terrified of how she would be able to provide a future for her and me (the only child still at home then). Her previous nursing diploma was outdated, and she had spent most of our childhood years being a homemaker and supporting my dad’s podiatry practice. So she got out her pencils and pads and went back to university in her mid-40’s. She not only got an honours degree, she started several networking groups where ‘mature’ students could find support and encouragement. Bonus: she also met my step-dad while at university.
That was my mom. She saw fear for what it was and did something about it. She made the choice between F‘ing Everything And Running. Or Facing Everything And Recovering. Son of a beach, she gone done did it. And did it. And did it some more. And because of her, I and countless others learned how to do the same.
My mom passed in 2011. Prior to that, she and my step-dad lived for many years on St. Joe’s Island in northern Ontario, about 45 minutes east of Sault Ste. Marie where I was born and partially grew up. They lived in a cottage that was on the waterfront and had a beach. Their home looked out onto the St. Mary’s River, a channel where ships pass through on their travels between two of the “Great Lakes”, Superior and Huron. All of my children grew up to know that when someone called out “boat again!”, it meant to run out to the shoreline and start waving like crazy. Sometimes the folks on the ship would see us, and sound their horns and even go on deck to wave back. That made for memories my kids and I will treasure for all our lives. Pretty cool eh? And it likely never would have been had it not been for my mom facing and recovering from her fear of water.
The Island, as it’s affectionately known, is my favourite place in the whole wide world. It is also where my mom’s ashes are buried, in the cemetery of the church where she and my step-dad were married. Below is a gallery of some pictures I have of our time there. The featured image above is my mom, pausing from reading a book to enjoy a glance out of the window of the cottage, perhaps to see a ship passing by. Perhaps to watch us playing on the beach or swimming. Or perhaps just to be. I dunno.
Love you mom. Always have. Always will.
xxoo Marianne
In response to today’s Daily Prompt: Beach
Beautiful, all of it. (Life almost doesn’t need photographs, but thank God we have that option!) A wonderful tribute to your mom and women everywhere.
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Thanks Relax. It was a joy to write and think of her today.
Marianne
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What an wonderful tribute to your mom! Thank you so much for sharing her with us.
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It was with my utmost pleasure Amy. Thank you for the note today. Your kind words as always make me smile. 🙂
Marianne
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Your mom was some kind of woman, Marianne. It had to be hard for her to do what she did; your pride in her shines through. Lovely post.
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Oh Loisa, thank you. My eyes just teared up a little reading your comment. But in a good way. 🙂
Yes she was some kind of woman, that’s for sure.
Marianne
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Oh Marianne your Mom was such a wonderful Lady, I know all those nice things about you is what you inherited from your great Mom. It’s wonderful to read about you and your family,God bless you, my dear friend. 🙂
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Thanks Ranu. She certainly was one wonderful lady. I can only dream of being half of what she was. 🙂
Blessings to you and yours as well … Marianne
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Lovely post Marianne, you must know much her special type of courage resonates with me. Thanks. Anton
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Thank you very kindly Anton. It truly was a special kind of courage my mom had, you’re very right. I’m happy to know it struck a chord with you.
Thanks again, hope you’re having a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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❤ Beautiful thoughts! Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks again K. Happy to know you enjoyed it. Marianne
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Thank you so much for sharing this story. Your mother continues to inspire through you and your writing. Much love to you 💜
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You’re very welcome Xenia. And thank you. Knowing that she is still touching lives through her own inspiring life is something that will surely bring a big angelic smile to her face. 🙂
Blessings to you … Marianne
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Your words bring your mom to life in a a very special way. I love the featured image of her looking out the window with book in hand. Seeing her picture first and then hearing your story was very touching. Wonderful post.
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Thank you very much Charles. If she were alive today, she’d probably kick my derriere for using that pic, but I don’t care. It’s one of my favourites of her.
Marianne
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Thanks for allowing us to journey “Somewhere In Time” with you. Your mother is there in your eyes.
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And yet another comment putting slight tears in my eyes …
Oh Rooster, you are so right. She is always with me, whether I have a picture in front of me to adore of her or not.
Thank you. Your comment made me smile, amidst the rolling of my happy tears … Marianne
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Wow! What a touching tribute.
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Thank you kindly Bailey. It’s been a joy spending much of today with her in my nearest thoughts.
Thanks again, hope you’re having a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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Shivers my dear. Beautifully written; poetic. Moved me. May have opened an avenue for memories. Thank you.
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Thanks Herb. Moved me a little too, writing it. Nah, I can’t lie, a lot.
Let the gates open. Grab a box of kleenex and enjoy the journey.
Blessings to you as always my friend … Marianne
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Lovely thoughts on your mother! Pretty remarkable woman!
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Thanks, I kinda think so too. 🙂
Marianne
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What an appropriate tribute, especially because Sunday, we celebrate Mother’s Day. She was one brave woman. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you Barbara. She certainly was brave, and taught me how to be the same in challenging times. I hope to celebrate my memories of her again on Sunday.
Thank you again, hoping you’re having a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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You are so welcome, Marianne!
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Your mom was a courageous woman – a gem. A wonderful tribute.
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Thank you Sheenmeem. Courage was certainly something she had in plenty and thankfully, she passed a little on to me.
Wishing you a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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Thank you. Same to you,
Sheen.
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Sounds like your mom was a pretty brave lady after all. 🙂
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Darn tootin’ right she was brave Jill. Still amazes me how she lived the life she did, especially with all her childhood crap, but shine right through it and used it to help others.
She’s probably teaching some ladies how to paint in heaven as I write this! 🙂
Thanks for the visit and the note, it brought a smile to my face … Marianne
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I love that your mom found courage over her fears and in doing so taught her children to do the same! It looks like a wonderful place to have made so many memories. I’ve always loved how boaters wave at everyone.
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I loved that about her too for sure. And the just hearing the two words ‘boat again’ bring back so many great memories of the ship folk waving to complete strangers looking like fools on the beach waving and jumping around at them! Can’t beat those kind of thoughts. 🙂
Thanks for the visit and the note bedlamanddaisies. Hoping you’re having a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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What a lovely, lovely post. So glad I stopped in to read it.
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Thank you Sally. I’m glad you stopped in too. Marianne
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Sounds like a great mother.
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Oh yes she was. I was blessed.
Thanks for the visit and the note Nomnian. Wishing you a kindness-filled kinda day … Marianne
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Right back at you!
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