Expectations = PreMeditated Resentments


  • Ever order a steak in a restaurant as medium-rare and it gets served to you as well done?
  • Ever ask your teen in the morning to do the dishes and come home from work and they’re not done?
  • Ever go to drive somewhere and it takes you twice as long because of construction?
  • Ever do tons of exercise and get on the scale 2 weeks later to find the numbers haven’t budged?
  • Ever go to your doctor for a routine wax cleanout and leave with a surgery date in hand?

Ever feel mad about these things happening?

Check, check, and 4 more checks.  For me at least.  2 of the incidents just in the last week.  The mad part, for all of them.

Why did I get mad about all of these somewhat trivial snapshots in the bigger picture of life?  Because I was already good’n’ready to get good’n’angry.  I set myself up for success in being supremely ticked off and I accomplished it.  I put expectations on people, places, and things including myself rather than letting life live itself out on life’s terms.  I assumed all of the above would turn out the way I believed they would and they didn’t.  And we all know what assumptions make … big stinky farting butts out of ourselves and others.

Expectations are premeditated resentments.

That’s the twist I prefer on a similar quote attributed to author Anne Lamont who wrote “expectations are resentments under construction.”  The premeditated part hits home harder for me.  It’s the reminder that I and I alone put conscious and calculated thought and energy into being angry.  Before I even have any real reason to be pissed off.  And only I can change those thoughts and redirect my energy elsewhere.  It has nothing to do with the steak or who cooked it, my kid, traffic, my scale, or my doctor.  I am the only common denominator.

This reminds me of another common saying:  insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  Well, I’m gonna get a little twisted on you again.  If that’s the case, then why not turn it around and say …

Sanity is doing different things over and over again
with no expectation of results.

That sounds like premeditated happiness to me.  What a terrific anger management/prevention tool.  Might come in handy next time I order eggs over easy and they get served to me as fried instead.



Image source:  mine, taken of me some years ago by one of my kids on my phone.  You can see I’m mad and I was because I expected them to not take a picture of me.  I was disappointed in them for doing something I didn’t want them to do.  I sure ain’t pretty when I’m angry now am I?


Listen to music.  It could save your soul.  Be kind.  It could save someone’s world.  Wear a hat.  It could save your life.

22 thoughts on “Expectations = PreMeditated Resentments

  1. I was once told you suffer all these adversities because God loves you, may be it’s true for you too. My inner self tells me don’t be too nice,because nice people finish last, between God’s love and nice people finish last, which will I pick, I don’t know, do you?
    One thing I’d say is, the world is a cruel place, you may work your pants off for other people, in return you get nothing, only criticism.
    So dear Marianne, I’ve traveled this path enough times and have seen everything, so I say let me take care of myself, since no one else will and forget the world,selfish you may think. I’ve done the opposite, it did not work.
    You have a nice day, take care of yourself. Best wishes to you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you order a steak medium well, and it turns out blue? Zap it with your eyes! Don’t bother sending it back, haha.
    But honestly though, stuff seems to be hitting the fan for a lot of people at the moment. Hit those curveballs outta the park!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Got here via whereshappy and I agree with this – this is 100% applicable in personal relationships – expectation is premeditated resentment. I see this at work ALL THE TIME between employees who don’t get along, or employees who hate a certain manager….our expectations cloud communication to the point where the outcome is predetermined and nothing the manager can say can come out like she means it to. (This also applies to exes, obviously)

      Liked by 2 people

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