- Ever order a steak in a restaurant as medium-rare and it gets served to you as well done?
- Ever ask your teen in the morning to do the dishes and come home from work and they’re not done?
- Ever go to drive somewhere and it takes you twice as long because of construction?
- Ever do tons of exercise and get on the scale 2 weeks later to find the numbers haven’t budged?
- Ever go to your doctor for a routine wax cleanout and leave with a surgery date in hand?
Ever feel mad about these things happening?
Check, check, and 4 more checks. For me at least. 2 of the incidents just in the last week. The mad part, for all of them.
Why did I get mad about all of these somewhat trivial snapshots in the bigger picture of life? Because I was already good’n’ready to get good’n’angry. I set myself up for success in being supremely ticked off and I accomplished it. I put expectations on people, places, and things including myself rather than letting life live itself out on life’s terms. I assumed all of the above would turn out the way I believed they would and they didn’t. And we all know what assumptions make … big stinky farting butts out of ourselves and others.
Expectations are premeditated resentments.
That’s the twist I prefer on a similar quote attributed to author Anne Lamont who wrote “expectations are resentments under construction.” The premeditated part hits home harder for me. It’s the reminder that I and I alone put conscious and calculated thought and energy into being angry. Before I even have any real reason to be pissed off. And only I can change those thoughts and redirect my energy elsewhere. It has nothing to do with the steak or who cooked it, my kid, traffic, my scale, or my doctor. I am the only common denominator.
This reminds me of another common saying: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Well, I’m gonna get a little twisted on you again. If that’s the case, then why not turn it around and say …
Sanity is doing different things over and over again
with no expectation of results.
That sounds like premeditated happiness to me. What a terrific anger management/prevention tool. Might come in handy next time I order eggs over easy and they get served to me as fried instead.
Image source: mine, taken of me some years ago by one of my kids on my phone. You can see I’m mad and I was because I expected them to not take a picture of me. I was disappointed in them for doing something I didn’t want them to do. I sure ain’t pretty when I’m angry now am I?